Dirty Magic

He’d be an Azkaban prisoner and I’d be a sexy dementor trying to suck his soul out of his magic wand until he accio’ed.

— Aug 2, 2021 —

Poem: Romeo & Jew

among the smoke, strippers, & mirrors, i found a strapping fellow throwing singles,
and soon after,
we weren’t.

— June 10, 2020 —

Self (S)Care

The dosage honeymoon wears off and you start to wonder if you were better off with your last antidepressant. The pill was bigger, even though this one offers more stability.

— Dec 20, 2019 —

Poems: The Oy-Dessy

it’s important to treat your body like at temple
an orthodox temple,
and i only let jews come inside me

— Fall 2019 Collection —

UberXXX

Be really specific if you need a phone charger, because if you ask for a plug, you’ll get thrown an anal toy.

— Oct 30, 2019 —

Charge My Kard

One of them is a porn star, the other is an infant.

— May 20, 2019 —

Happy Hour with Kanye West

“Tomatoes exist in BOTH fruit and vegetable groups. They’re the bi-racial child of the produce aisle.” — Kanye

— Feb 2, 2019 —

Plenty of Fish

Whether an un(tin)canny resemblance to Tuna, or a fixation with blowholes, I’ve caught & released plenty of fish — but want an Aquaman who flips my fin to full fillet.
— Nov 27, 2018 —

The Pink House

Controversy fit for a queen: Nicki Minaj’s latest album flopped harder than Trump’s golf shorts on the green.

— Sept 16, 2018 —

Poem: My Old Fashioned

Your power to poison me, the potency, filled me with fear.
You had my heart on reserve,
until you asked for the check.

— Sept 9 2018 —