Dirty Magic

He’d be an Azkaban prisoner and I’d be a sexy dementor trying to suck his soul out of his magic wand until he accio’ed.

— Aug 2, 2021 —

Poem: Romeo & Jew

among the smoke, strippers, & mirrors, i found a strapping fellow throwing singles,
and soon after,
we weren’t.

— June 10, 2020 —

Poems: The Oy-Dessy

it’s important to treat your body like at temple
an orthodox temple,
and i only let jews come inside me

— Fall 2019 Collection —


Be really specific if you need a phone charger, because if you ask for a plug, you’ll get thrown an anal toy.

— Oct 30, 2019 —

Charge My Kard

One of them is a porn star, the other is an infant.

— May 20, 2019 —

Happy Hour with Kanye West

“Tomatoes exist in BOTH fruit and vegetable groups. They’re the bi-racial child of the produce aisle.” — Kanye

— Feb 2, 2019 —

Plenty of Fish

Whether an un(tin)canny resemblance to Tuna, or a fixation with blowholes, I’ve caught & released plenty of fish — but want an Aquaman who flips my fin to full fillet.
— Nov 27, 2018 —

The Pink House

Controversy fit for a queen: Nicki Minaj’s latest album flopped harder than Trump’s golf shorts on the green.

— Sept 16, 2018 —

Poem: My Old Fashioned

Your power to poison me, the potency, filled me with fear.
You had my heart on reserve,
until you asked for the check.

— Sept 9 2018 —