On July 5th, Rob Kardashian unleashed a social media storm destructive enough to warrant another remake of “We Are The World.” His release of nude photos and intimate details about his relationship with Blac Chyna inadvertently made one thing clear: we need to get these two to Washington.
With fake news still dominating our media and the president hurdling toward impeachment, there is a ton of uncertainty of what is happening behind closed doors at the White House. We need someone who can tell it like it is. We need someone to find and expose the truth like they’re naked photos of their baby mama. We need the seventh most bankable Kardashian.
As for Blac Chyna herself, let’s not rule out for nominating her to our treasury department. If Rob’s allegation that he spent $250,000 in one day on the Blac Mambo is true, then maybe we should get her at the center of our capital’s fundraising efforts.
But seriously, she managed as a single mom without a college degree or correctly-spelled name, to get a celebrity bachelor to spend more each month on jewelry and gifts than my parents spent on my entire tuition.
Maybe my family should get into the sock game….?
Rob & Chyna Season Two
While E! is unlikely to produce another season of Rob & Chyna, this could be a blessing in disguise. Forget E!, once in Washington, they can move this party moved over to MSNBC. Sorry Joe and Mika, but you had your 15 minutes.
With Chyna refocused on her new political career, Rob would be free to
text other bitches date around. As an already-successful matchmaker, I recommend he date someone a little less crazy this time, like Snookie. The former Jersey Shore star is a regular Kate Middleton in a cesspool of Blac Chynas.
Most importantly, I’ll live my dream of making all the Orange is the New Blac jokes I can type. So everyone wins.
But most importantly, one of my celebrity breakup predictions came true!